~ Welcome all to Tree Temple music ~
The Rowan moon waxeth
Most people struggle with staying centered.
Sovereign in our peace of mind.
Grounded in our bodies.
Rooted in our communities.
One with our habits and work.
Centered in our hearts.
It is especially difficult to remain grounded and sovereign when great tragedies and traumas waylay us on a daily basis. From about age 14, I have been under constant assault from the demons of abyss that have come down our bloodline through genocide and slavery. I am a strange and deeply wounded person, but I know much about how to face these foes without being dragged into their realm. They have made themselves plain in this hour of “America”, and I know you are facing them now too. Perhaps you have been for a very long time.
My memories from the Fifteen Deer Wood are one essential origin of where I found a center much deeper even than the trauma and pain that has torn at this land, and at my heart and soul so.
Let us journey there now.
Fist to head sized stones from the creek, smoothed by water and time, surrounded about half of the knoll as I arrived to its glade, deep in the Fifteen Deer Wood. Up from this knoll rose a tree that would become a companion to me in a deep and beautiful way. Its trunk was stout and its branches wide, gathering its own glade about its leaves, dancing alone but witnessed by a circle of friends.
It was I who had placed those stones, carried from the creek only a dozen steps away, the last time I had come to this place. Down the big hill from the glade of gold grasses and the old fence, a thin dirt path led on aways along the south side of the creek, always flowing low and slow at this part of the forest, clear and sandy. The path, leading west, turned from the creek's edge among the nettles and vines, under the boughs of tilting, bending young trees.
Then, amidst the verdant brown of that blessed soil, the path dissipated into the brush. The path's end, and the entrance to the woodland's deepest glade. If one wandered further into these trees, they would find a young shaman placing stones around a sacred tree, forming an earthen altar to receive dreams and visions from the ancestors and the primordial realm.
Today I had returned to finish my work. Hobbling back and forth to and fro many segments of the creek, carrying large stones selected as to disturb the water's flow as little as possible. The green-gold shimmering of the sunlit leaves danced their million-jewel wave.
The voices of the creek carried on clearly in their wordless chatter, close by the now-stone-encircled knoll in three directions. Silvery and bright blue were the peaks of the little waves at this mid-afternoon hour, and a few birds carried song through the high warming sun of spring.
I nestled then up to the great tree's trunk, resting in a nook I dug out in the dirt at its base. Gazing into the subtle rainbow tunnel of faery light made by the creek winding on before me, I entered the realm of day-dreams.
A sweet melody trickled up the stream sung by a woman's voice. Soon the melody was embodied by a doe, spotted white, exploring the waters in careful steps. Moving slowly toward me, she carried along with her a presence of innocence, yet vast power. The rainbows between water and sunlit leaf harmonized her melody in humble, yet marvelous grace.
The doe was focused mainly on maintaining her step, walking up the middle of the creek, seemingly unaware of the heavenly beauty of her scene. Suddenly she stopped, sniffed the air, and turned to face me.
Both our eyes widened and were frozen in place, though I had already been staying as still as I thought possible. We had been caught! Our solitude broken by another furtive creature's careful wandering. I was quite out of body at this point, a vision hovering just below the low canopy of the stone-encircled tree my body sat up against.
The two of us stared for a fleeting eternal moment. Then, the doe flopped down into the water, and in rising back up, transformed into a human girl. The girl wore a tattered yet elegant red dress, and red-gold hair hung from her head, made only more beautiful by the waters that drenched it. She continued then walking up the stream with greater confidence than in doe form, stealing glances in my direction.
Love was my breath that held me in this realm. I longed to meet her in the shining waters, but knew if I moved, she would disappear. So I contented myself to stay an ethereal watcher as she began to dance, her melody now clearly sung from her ruby mouth.
I closed my eyes then, for I could bear the longing to join her no longer. I would have to find the deer maiden and the tunnel of light again, in a realm where I could sing with her. A realm where we could touch.. A realm where our gaze could meet, stay met, and swirl into love's ocean as one.
Crawling from my seat against the big tree's trunk, I placed my head against one of the stones that granted me this vision, and wept for something I would not know for many long, painful years.
The doe amidst rainbow harmonies was me.
I would embark on a quest, sacred to my spirit. A mission serious as death.
A journey romantic in my heart, burning inspiration in my mind.
To realize oneness with the tunnel of light
deep within the forest
where the real me dwelt.
The practice and creation of music
has been my primary method of realization.
You can witness my journey at
&
The music can help you live at your own center, even amidst total madness.
I love you and care about you!
~ Compassion ~
~ <3 Trolli <3 ~
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